Puzzling food

I don't normally draw attention to the weird antics of PETA. I don't agree with their message, and I know that they stage the kookiest stunts they can think of just to get some kind of attention -- any kind, really -- and I don't want to be seen as giving them the attention they crave.

But this short bit from KENS-5 on a PETA report listing the top 10 vegan sports arenas caught my eye, and it's not because the AT&T Center placed eighth on the PETA list. It's because of this:

It's fitting that familiar favorites, including bean burritos and tacos, vegan apple turnovers, and, in premium areas, vegan sloppy Joes, would be found at the home of the [Spurs].

Wut!?? The hell.

Is a vegan sloppy joe?

Don't tell me it's a textured protein or tofu and that it's indistinguishable from beef. Uh uh. I'm not buying that. A sloppy joe is ground beef simmered in a very delicious sauce and served on a bun, preferably toasted. It's not textured protein or tofu. I've had those items for many a meal, and I have nothing against them. They can be quite tasty, depending on how they are prepared. But I can't see how those meat substitutes can ever replace ground beef in a sloppy joe. I just can't get my head around it, and I can't see myself ever ordering or paying for something called a "vegan sloppy joe".

Least of all in the AT&T center. Hell, your meatless slop burger will probably run you $15 there, and that's without fries or a drink.

Shooting Bigfoot in San Antonio

Apparently it's legal to kill a cryptid in San Antonio, as long as you do it in a homeless camp. Or at least this guy thought so.

Right now, the online Bigfoot community is on fire with claims from a controversial man who is saying he shot and killed a Bigfoot in Northwest San Antonio last September.

Rick Dyer is the man who claims he killed Bigfoot.

...

The first time he came here was in 2009, shortly after a homeless woman called 911 to report a Bigfoot sighting. [That event was mentioned previously on this blog.  --Ed.]

The couple was living in a tent in the woods near Loop 1604 and Highway 151. One night in November 2009, the couple claimed to see a "very large, hairy animal" enter their campsite and take off with a deer carcass.

...

It took nearly three years for Dyer to return to the Alamo city to continue his search in September 2012.

This time, he had a documentary film crew in tow, and they all camped out in tents where several homeless people claimed to have seen the creature.

(from KSAT-12)

Mr. Dyer says he used pork ribs from Walmart to lure the creature into the camp, where he shot the thing and took off with the corpse to Las Vegas. So he says. He can't show us the body because this was all part of a documentary project. He says he cannot release video, pictures, or the body itself at this point. All he can do is shout his story to the media until the documentary is released, and then he can release the evidence.

I think I will hold off on believing Dyer's story. Why? you may ask. I don't know, maybe because he is a self-admitted hoaxer who's even alienated the people who should be his biggest supporters.

 [Dyer] said he's "the most hated person in Bigfoot today."

That hatred stems from his involvement in a 2008 Bigfoot hoax.

Dyer and others claimed they had a body back then and even held a huge news conference but it all turned out to be a big lie.

"When I hoaxed in 2008, I did not believe in Bigfoot," Dyer said. "I thought Bigfoot was the same thing as a tooth fairy or a unicorn."

There you go. Even the Bigfoot community is loathe to believe his claims, and they want Bigfoot to be real. They really do. If you've lost them, you might as well hang out in homeless camps and feed the wildlife.

Mmmm ---- pork ribs.

"Man lashes out at news crews covering garage fire"

A man's home catches fire, and he finds the presence of news crews offensive. Can't say as I really blame him. It seems pretty invasive to have a camera poking in your business just when you are at a very vulnerable point. But at the same time, I know that's what news crews do, and you can't really begrudge them a living, as long as they are on public property and not actually in your stuff. But, again, the man's resentment is understandable.

So he expresses himself. And how does KSAT-12 characterize his reaction?

This appeared to agitate the man who lives in the home. He lashed out at news crews that were there to cover the fire by making obscene gestures with his hands.

He "lashed out". By doing this:

That's lashing out? He looks remarkably collected to me. Really, KSAT, you could have done better. If you're going to portray someone as out of control in their reaction to your presence, you might not want to show video of him coolly flipping you the bird with no indication of violence on his mind whatsoever.

Or just leave him alone, you know.

You do know, right?

Finding ordnance

In the street. And, supposedly, it was a missile.

A missile was found in the middle of a street in West Bexar County Thursday morning.

The missile was discovered around 9:00 a.m. at the intersection of Firefox Den and Barking Wolf, near Loop 1604 and Marbach Road.

Bexar County officials said the missile, which was 16" to 18" long, was used for training purposes and was not a 'live.'

(from WOAI-TV)

I don't know, a foot and a half seems a bit short to be a "missile". I know that it's possible something that size could be guided, and then, therefore, a missile. But that sounds more like a rocket.

Either way, it's not something you would expect to find in the street, whether it is "a 'live'" or not.

"Butterfly travels to SA on plane"

I don't know, it just seems like they're enabling this underachiever.

A lone Monarch butterfly flew from Albany, N.Y., to San Antonio Monday not on it's [sic] own, but onboard a Southwest Airlines flight -- for free.

It was all to help the butterfly make its migration to Michoacan, Mexico, for the winter.

The butterfly emerged from its chrysalis too late to travel with other butterflies and it was already too cold in the northeast to make the trip.

...

"I said, 'What are you doing here? You're late! Your very late for a important date!'" said [the Butterfly Woman of Shokan, N.Y. Maraleen] Manos-Jones.

(from KSAT-12)

I hope that date isn't with one of San Antonio's many grackles. For Ms. Manos-Jones's sake, that is.

Confusing the twins

Ha-ha, KSAT! Don't forget anybody's name, or anything!

Mayor Julian Castro is admittedly a little nervous about speaking at next week's Democratic National Convention.

...

"I'm going to talk about my family story. The context of creating opportunity in America. How our nation has been the land of opportunity, and what we need to do in the future to ensure that that path to opportunity is sustained," Mayor Castro said.

Saturday morning Mayor Castro, with his wife Erica, daughter, and brother Julian by his side, said goodbye to a room of hundreds of supporters.

(from KSAT-12)

Poor Joaquin. Julian seems destined forever to steal his thunder. But he shouldn't worry. Around here in the Alamo City, we all know he and his twin brother would never do anything that would lead us to confuse the two.

Hailing a getaway

Obviously he needed the money for a car.

San Antonio police arrested a man suspected in a robbery at a credit union who used a cab as his getaway car.

Police said the robbery happened about 2:15 p.m. on Thursday at the San Antonio Federal Credit Union on Bandera Road.

...

Police found the cab and the driver said he just dropped the man off.

(from KSAT-12)

I wish this story had more details, like:
1. Did the guy get the cab first, rob the bank, then leave? Or did he call for the ride after the deed?
2. Did the cabbie not find it odd that his fare told him to drive to a bank, to wait there, and then to drive away quickly when he returned?
3. Did he pay his fare from the stolen loot? Did the money he paid with have dye on it?
4. Did he tip the cabbie?
5. Does the cabbie get to keep the tip?
6. Does he get to keep the fare?

I am genuinely curious.

Get back to us, KSAT. San Antonio wants to know.

Someone who should think a little more

About where he consumes the fruits of his endeavors, that it.

Police say the assault happened in the 100 block of Eross around 8 p.m. Thursday.

According to police, the suspect flagged down the ice cream van and somehow got inside.

He assaulted the driver and officers found him a short time later walking in the area with merchandise from the van.

(from KSAT-12)

Walking in the area. Just casually, I assume. With "merchandise from the van". Not a care for the cops at all.

But inquiring minds want to know: How much "merchandise" was he carrying? And was he worried about it melting (this is summer, you know)? Did he have a freezer handy? And what was he eating at the time? A drumstick? A fudgesicle? One of those weird foot-shaped things with a gumball in the big toe? Choco-taco?

Please, please television journalists, ask the right questions! I am genuinely curious!

Car almost crashes into house

Lightweight.

San Antonio Police report they are still searching for a young man who bailed out of a vehicle after it almost crashed into a house at the corner of Harwood and Buckeye.

Instead, the small, two-door car slammed into a red truck parked outside the bedroom where homeowner Ernest Montez said he and his wife were resting.

(from KSAT-12)

The automobiles are starting to lose their mojo. Not only are they missing their domicile targets (apparently), now they are also bungling their attacks to the point of harming their own. It's a shame, really.

Bonus strangeness: Someone who obviously does not know their firearms.

[Officer Matt Porter, SAPD spokesman,] also said a rifle or shotgun was recovered at the scene.

Who do you think couldn't tell the difference, cop or reporter?

(One of those choices is a pretty safe bet!)

No, Cujo! No!

(from the KENS-5 slideshow covering the El Rey Fido coronation)

When taking photographs, even casually, you should pay close attention to forced perspective. Whether you want it to be there or not.

Waking up on Easter

For those who don't know, camping out in the city parks on Easter weekend is a tradition for some people. They've been doing it for a long time, and they're going to keep doing it, no matter what, so the City of San Antonio accommodates them by lifting the ban on overnight camping for the weekend. It's sort of like an annual Occupy event that's been going on for decades, but one that's less angry and that's over by Monday morning.

If you've never camped out in the parks yourself, KSAT-12 has a brief look at the scene. For your entertainment, of course. The station sent one of its brave -- and perhaps a bit foolish -- reporters out on Sunday morning to see what it's like when these campers first wake up for their Easter festivities. Or, really, when they get woken up by a bright light and a camera.

Check it out. The fun part really starts at 1:10.

"Police: East S.A. is Gang Related"

You don't say.



(from KABB-29)

Oh, the difference a "shooting" makes.

Getting your illustration wrong

This is the photo art that accompanied Ruben Navarette's column in today's Express-News:



Notice anything not quite right?

Shooting the hand that helps you

Sometimes it just doesn't pay to be the good guy.

San Antonio police Sgt. Daniel Gonzales said the suspect, 19, apparently had an accident along southbound Interstate 37 near the Commerce exit. His vehicle landed upside down in a grassy area past a guardrail just off the highway's main lanes.

The driver of an armored truck pulled over to help the man, who pulled out a handgun and shot at the good Samaritan but did not hurt him.

The suspect then reportedly ran away from the scene of the crash, leaving behind a passenger in his vehicle who received non life-threatening injuries in the rollover.

(from the Express-News)

Surprisingly, the suspect may have been under the influence at the time. Even so, his actions in response to receiving a little assistance seem a bit extreme.

Of course, the Express-News was concerned that this happened downtown, and that San Antonio's vital tourism trade might have been affected by the weird shooting. The newspaper was so worried their reporter went to the trouble to seek out -- and then actually publish -- this anecdote:

Tourists Nancy and Leonard Marak, 61 and 66, respectively, were at the Days Inn hotel when the suspect's vehicle landed in the grassy area just next to the building. They said they heard sirens but did not know what the commotion was about.

“It didn't affect us one bit,” Nancy Marak said.

Stay frosty and alert.

Not getting how dates work

What's wrong with this news story, which was published today, Tuesday, February 14, 2012?

A 13-year-old boy who had been reported missing Tuesday afternoon has been found safe and sound.

Bradley Meinz was found late Wednesday afternoon at the central library downtown.

San Antonio had been searching for him after his family reported him missing.

He had not come home from school Monday, as expected.

(from KSAT-12)

Today is Tuesday, February 14, 2012.

Modern day snake oil

Look here, someone has solved our drinking water problem! But guess what -- it's not cheap. And its probably not necessary, at least the way this guy envisions it.

Hill Country inventor Terry LeBleu has invented a machine that turns thin air into clean, pure drinking water.

Terry says all the parts to his invention are readily available stock items and he is willing to show you exactly how you can build one yourself.

The heart of his invention is Sears Kenmore 70-pint dehumidifier.

Condensed water is further purified and sterilized with filters and ultraviolet light.

It takes about three days to make 40 gallons of ultra-pure water that are stored in a food-grade plastic barrel.

The parts to the machine cost around $700 but he can sell you his pre-made Big Dipper for $800.

(from KSAT-12)

I will admit, right out of the gate, that I am no scientist. And I'm certainly not a hydrologist. But -- now, correct me if I'm wrong -- I seem to remember that distilled water is pure water, and distillation relies on condensation. So, wouldn't anything that is condensed out of the air already be pure water? Why the need for the filters and the ultraviolet light to further purify and sterilize, unless merely to add cost? (Remember! The fully assembled Big Dipper only costs $800!) Seems to me like a plain ole Sears Kenmore 70-pint dehumidifier is all you really need, right?

Well, that and some humid air.

And what the hell does "ultra-pure" mean anyway?

Smuggling razors

How bad must it be -- or appear to be -- in your new jail cell to make you do this to stay in your current one?

According to an arrest warrant, 21-year-old Francisco Rodriguez was being transferred to another [Bexar County jail] annex but told jailers he refused to go because he had too many many [sic] enemy's [sic] in that part of the jail.

He then allegedly asked a jailer if he would be transferred back to the main jail if he were caught with weapons, prompting jailers to handcuff and question the inmate.

According to records, Rodriguez admitted to having weapons on him. Jailers searched Rodriguez and found in the waistband of his boxer shorts two razor blades wrapped in paper.

(from KENS-5)

Not paying very much attention

Didn't something like this happen not too long ago?

Traffic in the downtown area came to a halt Monday morning after an 18-wheeler got stuck under a bridge at Roosevelt and South St. Mary's Street.

The rig's driver told police she was looking for her CPS unit [sic] and failed to see the warning signs, causing her to crash the top of the truck aginst [sic] the railway bridge around 4:30 a.m.

(from KSAT-12)

Why, yes. Something like this did happen not too long ago.



Lesson #1 for driving a truck on the South Side: Be careful on Roosevelt Street, and pay attention to the signs.

And trade in your CPS unit for a much more functional GPS unit.

Feuding with the neighbors

With dog poop.

And pepper spray.

Candice Singh says the feud started three years ago when she caught her neighbor tossing dog poop into her yard.

Ever since, Singh said there have been rocks thrown, more poop tossed, vandalism, spit and numerous calls to police. ...

On Tuesday, Singh said she was sweeping the poop out of her yard and into the street [Into the what? Where? --ed.] outside her Joseph Phelps home [Her what home? --ed.]. Video from a surveillance camera shows neighbor Leticia Rodriguez walk up to Singh with a broom in hand. But Rodriguez wasn't only carrying a broom. She was also holding onto a can of pepper spray.

Surveillance video shows Rodriguez spray her neighbor right in the face.

"It burned," Singh said. "I could not breath [sic]. I was immediately throwing up."

Then Rodriguez put her broom to work.

"I couldn't see, and she's still sweeping poop on me while I'm in pain from the mace," Singh said. "And she got it in my mouth, also."

(from KENS-5)

I hope she means pepper spray got in her mouth. That would be uncomfortable, for sure, but the alternative would be quite gross.

But possibly not surprising.

Talking about the weather, again

Back in October, I pointed out -- with mirth -- how a simple weather forecast on WOAI-TV regarding the approach of cold weather had prompted an astounding number of comments from readers and viewers. At that time, I said this:

I know it has been quite some time since we've had real cool weather here in San Antonio, but really? 822 freakin' comments about how cold it is?!

I don't think I have ever seen that many comments on any news story or blog post I've ever read. 400, 450 maybe. But never over 800, and never when the topic is as commonplace as the weather!

All I can say is: puro san antonio.

But now, almost a month later, WOAI is forecasting the weather for Thanksgiving, and here's what I see:



Yep, there it is, the same slate for "Storm Tracker 4" on the forecast, and there I see a whopping 860 comments!

Why, that's only 38 comments more than the last time I noticed. And, you know what? I think I was a bit wrong before. Those of us who live in San Antonio are not great big weirdos with nothing better to do than crash WOAI's servers with floods of weather-related comments. No, it seems the weather people at WOAI are the strange ones, because they seem to be updating the same entry over and over again with new weather and letting the comments from previous forecasts pile up on it with nary a care for how heavy that one entry gets.

But now, I'm hooked. Now, WOAI has me.

Because I can't wait to see it hit 1,ooo!