The official center of the city

Did you know San Antonio has an official center?





See if you can guess where it is.

Someone who should have thought a little more

About her getaway!

SAN ANTONIO -- San Antonio police said a woman was arrested after robbing a Jack in the Box and failing to make a getaway in a waiting taxi.

Police said the woman walked into the Jack in the Box at Interstate 35 and Rittiman Road at around 5 p.m. Saturday. She reportedly told the cashier she had a gun and demanded money. Police said she walked out of the restaurant with an undisclosed amount of money. The woman tried to get into a taxicab that was waiting for her, but the cab driver took off without her, authorities said.

(from KSAT-12)

Well, I hope she at least had bus fare.

"Suspected rapist accused of using pit bull to threaten woman"

There's all kinds of weird going on here.

The woman told investigators she met 30-year-old Alex Martinez at a night club a few weeks ago. She said she picked up Martinez at his home on Wednesday, and they went to a club to have a couple of drinks and to get something to eat afterward. After returning to Martinez's apartment, the woman said he refused to let her leave and then sexually assaulted her. She said when she tried to put her clothing back on, he told her to take her pants back off and then opened the back door and threatened to let his pit bull dog inside. She said he attempted to have sex with her a second time but could not.

The woman told officers she stayed with Martinez out of fear but was able to leave in the morning after telling him she was going to get something to eat.

(from WOAI-TV)

This is just an allegation, of course, and the man says the sex was consensual. But the pit bull part really puts a strange spin on the case. It makes one wonder ---- Can a dog be seized as evidence?

Someone who should have thought a little more

About bicycle maintenance, that is.

The affidavit shows that a woman told detectives she was sitting in her car in a northeast side neighborhood June 2 when a man pedaled up on a bicycle, pointed a gun at her and demanded money.

The woman told investigators her neighbor began following the robber in his van. The affidavit shows when the suspect's bicycle gave out, he turned and fired a shot at the neighbor before running away on foot.

Detectives recovered the stolen bike at the scene. They said they tested it and found fingerprints matching those of [Brandon] Dobbins.

(from KSAT-12)

COOORREESSAANNTTT!!!!

I'd like to think this is a regionalism, a quirky, South-Texas way of describing a delicious sandwich.



But I don't think it is. I think it is something else.



Something else much more worldly. Galactic, even.

But I could be wrong.

Exaggerating, just a bit

This qualifies as a bionic leg for a cat? Really?

The cat shattered his femur in the fall and required emergency surgery, [Animal Care Services spokeswoman Lisa] Norwood said.

Without the surgery, the cat would have either had to have its leg amputated or would have had to be euthanized, Norwood said.

The cat, who was named Rocky, now has the feline version of a bionic leg, with pins holding his broken bones together.

(from KSAT-12)

Pins. They count as bionics. At least with cats.

Hell, if that's true, then go ahead and implant an RFID tag and call that cat a cyborg.

Chilling smiles III

Dammit. The smiling thing has become a trend.

The suspect, 25-year-old Charles Allen Thomas, was jailed Wednesday night. Thomas is charged with killing 50-year-old Mark Wyatt back in January near East Houston and North New Braunfels.

Investigators believe Thomas may also be a suspect in other murders.

(from WOAI-TV; previous posts here)

And here's KABB's picture of the same guy.



Stay alert. These people are out there, and they just don't give a crap.

"Police: Repeat Drunken Driving Suspect Slipped Out Of Ankle Monitor"

But, but she was home the whole time! She never left! How could she have been out drinking?

SAN ANTONIO -- A Northside woman accused of drinking and driving while she was supposed to be under house arrest may be the first person in Bexar County history to find a way around an ankle monitoring system, a county official said.

A San Antonio police officer arrested Stephanie Cerda, 25, early Saturday after she led him on a low speed chase from Loop 1604 & Blanco Road to her home on Hardy Oak Road.

...

At the time, Cerda was supposed to be under full house arrest and hooked up to a GPS monitoring system.

...

Mike Lozito, with Bexar County Pretrial Services, said this past weekend, it appears Cerda was able to slip off her ankle monitor, making it appear as if she was at home and complying with the court order.

"It appeared to be that she had put lotion on here and stretched the device," Lozito said. "We've never had that kind of thing happen before."

Lozito said his department is consulting with the monitor's manufacturer to make sure his officers are installing them properly.

(from KSAT-12)

OK, boys, let's make sure she keeps this thing on and really stays home. No pliers, no wire cutters, no tin snips, no paper clips, and definitely, definitely no lotion!

(KY's OK, though. We can't be cruel and unusual now, can we?)

Remnants of the past

It's not that unusual to see some old building in the middle of downtown San Antonio, even one that has no particular historical significance. Though you're sure there is some history attached to the structure, it's obvious that it is not significant enough to warrant an actual restoration or refurbishment of said structure.



But then you look closer, and then you suddenly find yourself wanting to know more of that history. Wanting to know some of it.



Please, just a little bit of history. Or at least a little story.

Remember

Memorial Day
San Antonio, Texas

Glad I could help, too, I guess

Nice. Alan at Blogonomicon gets referrals to his blog that come from search strings about the freshness of cheese. What do I get? Hookers.



Let's hope this knowledge seeker from Carlsbad actually reads the link he got referred to, and let's hope he remembers it when he comes to visit San Antonio. Hunting for hookers can be dangerous.

High 5

It's French, but it features someone who hangs out in San Antonio a lot, and it looks a little strange.



We may not be able to watch it in the States, but you can see the trailer here. (Pay attention to Mia's intro; it looks like they may need to update their animation.)

(Hat tip: WOAI-TV)

Leaving the children in the car

You know, I remember what it is like to have two small children with you when you're driving around. And I know how frustrating it is to not be able to stop and grab a soda, something for dinner, or the birthday card you forgot to buy earlier in the day without having to haul out a stroller (or a baby carrier) and maneuver that thing through a small store while herding the other, sleepy child with the other hand and still make your purchase without dropping your money on the floor and forgetting your change when you leave. I know. I remember. It kinda sucks.

But never once did I think it would be OK just that one time to leave the sleeping kids in the car while I ran into the store. And here's why:

San Antonio police said a man stole the woman's car with her children, a 9-month-old and a 3-year-old, asleep in the back seat.

Police said the car was stolen around 11 p.m. Wednesday at a convenience store on the 5900 block of Rittiman Road.

Police said the mother had stopped at the store to get a soda when she looked outside and saw that someone had taken off with the vehicle.

The woman screamed for help, but the driver fled. Police issued an Amber Alert for the children, then received an anonymous call saying the children had been abandoned at a Dollar General Store on Walzem Road.

The children were safely returned to their mother around 3 a.m., police said.

...

And although the children are safe and back with their mother, police told KSAT that the mother could face charges of endangering a child.

"As far as the mother goes in this case, it's not advisable to leave your children unattended in a vehicle, let alone leave the keys in the ignition," said Sgt. Chris Benavides, with the San Antonio Police Department.

(from KSAT-12)

And never once did I think it was OK to leave my kids in the car with the keys in the ignition and the doors unlocked! Inconvenience sucks, but sometimes it needs to be borne.

Snake oil -- now in pod form

Hey, look who got KSAT to do their advertising for them.

The device works like a sauna. Light emitting diodes -- or LED lights -- inside the pod raise your core body temperature. Users often use special creams and wear special suits to make it even hotter.

Cyntha Gans, owner of Planet Beach Contempo Spa, said the temperature starts at about 158 degrees and goes to about 180 degrees.

"The SlimLine capsule actually is a machine that tricks your body into thinking that it's working out," she said.

...

She also said the benefits go beyond weight loss. She said LED lighting helps combat the effects of aging on the skin and also has therapeutic benefits.

"I have some clients over the age of 50 that have osteoarthritis, and I myself had a torn meniscus and started getting into the machine and after two months, I'm back on the roads running again without any kind of surgery or therapy, except for using the Slim Capsule," she said.

...

Right now, Planet Beach is the only place in town with the SlimLine Capsule. Memberships cost about $80 a month and include use of various spa treatment devices and services.

(from KSAT-12)

Weight problems (with no need to exercise!), wrinkles, arthritis, torn cartilage -- it seems there's nothing this little capsule can't fix! I don't know why I'm not going down to Planet Beach right now to plop down $80 a month for this privilege!

Oh, wait -- there's this: "... the temperature starts at about 158 degrees and goes to about 180 degrees."

Isn't that -- isn't that above the temperature required for dishwasher sanitizing cycles? You know, to kill all the germs?

Hmmm. Maybe I'll save my 80 bucks a month for something else.

"Undercover police officer injures her hand during chase"

Slow news day today.

SAN ANTONIO - An undercover officer injured her hand during a police sting. It all happened after a man stole the SAPD bait car on Formosa near Commercial Avenue on the South Side. As the officer ran after the suspect, she cut her hand jumping a fence.

We talked with witnesses who tell us they saw everything.

(from WOAI-TV)

Well, I hope one of those witnesses at least got her some alcohol and a bandage. The other day, I banged my knee on my desk. Hard. And nobody came to help me out.

Chupacabra!

In small towns surrounding San Antonio!

Drake Gafford found one of the odd dead animals along Highway 181 South.

"I threw him in a sack on the bed of my pickup," he said.

Gafford described the animal as having "red eyes, big old fangs and claws coming out, just a sharp as they could be."

Both carcasses beg the question: Are they the vampire-like monsters with the worldwide following?

Gafford says he is convinced.

"Chupacabra all the way," he said.

(from KENS-5)



Do you, like Drake, believe?

Do you want to believe?

Doubled street

Some time ago, I did a post about the unusual doubling of street names in San Antonio, specifically about how completely different roadways, sometimes in completely different parts of town, share name elements (i.e., Wurzbach Road and Harry Wurzbach Road).

But I forgot to include this one. And it's destined to be a classic.



Yes, you see that correctly. That is Whitby Road intersecting with Whitby Road.



Just try giving directions in that part of town.

Walmart juxtaposition

I did not know there was a market for Cookie Monster and Elmo swimming shorts in adult sizes!



I also did not know it was the same market for beer-themed swimming shorts!



Maybe Katy Perry's brother shops there.

"Decapitated birds found in south side neighborhood"

Don't worry. It's not as bad as WOAI wants you to believe.

Just down the street, James Wright tells News 4 WOAI he's found several decapitated birds in his yard for the past few days.

The mystery behind the deaths is ruffling some feathers for nearby neighbors.

"It's strange, but maybe somebody... somebody's doing it," says homeowner Melissa Garza [Breathlessly, I'm sure. --ed.].

The San Antonio Audubon Society says the weather may be to blame.

"Right now with the drought so bad, there's a great competition for food and water and bugs," replies Georgina Schwartz of the Audubon Society. "There aren’t as many bugs, there aren’t as many flowers, so right now its not a good time for birds."

In fact, Schwartz adds that birds can get aggressive if other feathered fowls get in the way of their food.

"Grackles are great for drowning baby birds," Schwartz says. "Screech owls are in the habit of decapitating...you have a lot of competition out there. Sex and violence, you got lots of that in the bird world."

(from WOAI-TV)

Relax, it's only sex and violence in the bird world. Nothing to worry about. It's just nature. Circle of life, and all that.

Someone who should have thought a little more ...

... before hitting that SEND button. A whole freakin' heckuva lot more.

An administrator at St. Philip's College is under investigation based on a professor's complaint that she sent hundreds of sexually explicit and racially offensive emails to a handful of employees over the past six years.

Warren Parker, a radiography instructor, claims his boss, program director Donna Laird, sent at least 400 emails from her work account featuring semi-nude women, animals having sex or masturbating, foul language and jokes stereotyping men, women, rednecks and people of all races.

Parker is speaking out now because he believes his bid for tenure is in jeopardy.

He provided the San Antonio Express-News with a sample of about 100 emails he had saved.

When asked about Parker's complaint regarding the emails, Retha Karnes, a lawyer for the Alamo Colleges, said an investigation into the matter is ongoing. She declined to comment further. Laird did not return a phone call and an email sent to her work account seeking comment.

(from the Express-News)

Warren Parker, the offended one, is a black man.

Donna Laird, the offending one, is a white woman. And she's his boss.

Alamo Colleges is the local taxpayer-funded community college district.

St. Philip's College, one of the Alamo Colleges, is a historically black college. It is on the East Side. The East Side is traditionally black.

This is an example of the things Laird was sending: "The emails include a musical slide show featuring scantily clad vaginas, pictures mocking young blacks dressed up for prom as “ghetto,” a woman simulating oral sex on the stick shift of a car, a young man lighting a bottle rocket stuck in his rectum and a satirical exercise program to hire black men to pose as muggers and chase white women."



Wow.


Just, wow.



Who in their right mind would ever think such things are OK to send via e-mail on a work computer? Especially one that is owned by a taxpayer-funded district?

Folks, be careful what you forward. And remember, government records are open records, at least in Texas. And what you send today can appear in the news tomorrow.