Ransoming a dog

Here's a ponderable: Is it really a ransom situation if you know the people and owe them money anyway? It might be. I don't know. But I am genuinely curious.

San Antonio Police said two men intended to keep a disabled veteran's chihuahua for ransom.

Charles Stone from the Southside said the men took his 6-year-old chihuahua, "Guero," and held the dog ransom.

...

The men said Stone owed them upwards of $1,500. Because Stone wasn't timely in paying up, the men also allegedly tried to charge him interest.

...

The two men, whose names have not yet been released, are facing a charge of theft of a disabled person, which is a felony.

(from KSAT-12)

The dog was gone for about two weeks, and the police set up a sting operation to nab the two guys.

Which brings up my next question: A sting operation? Was that necessary? If someone steals someone else's dog, and then that person calls the police to say, Hey, those guys stole my dog, why wouldn't the police just go over to the dudes' house and say, Is that your dog? And then arrest them if they admit it's not theirs. I'm thinking that might be quicker than setting up a sting, and Guero would have been home sooner.

But then, that might not have made the news. Maybe.

"City cleans up homeless campsites"

I read this with intense interest.

Cleaning up homeless campsites removed two truck loads of debris from areas around town Thursday morning.

San Antonio Police, Public Works and Haven for Hope partner up to periodically clean up places where the homeless live.  While Public Works crews work to remove any left-behind belongings, Ron Brown works to get people off the streets to Haven for Hope.

(from WOAI-TV)

And I couldn't help wondering, would Haven for Hope accept Bigfoot?

Puzzling food

I don't normally draw attention to the weird antics of PETA. I don't agree with their message, and I know that they stage the kookiest stunts they can think of just to get some kind of attention -- any kind, really -- and I don't want to be seen as giving them the attention they crave.

But this short bit from KENS-5 on a PETA report listing the top 10 vegan sports arenas caught my eye, and it's not because the AT&T Center placed eighth on the PETA list. It's because of this:

It's fitting that familiar favorites, including bean burritos and tacos, vegan apple turnovers, and, in premium areas, vegan sloppy Joes, would be found at the home of the [Spurs].

Wut!?? The hell.

Is a vegan sloppy joe?

Don't tell me it's a textured protein or tofu and that it's indistinguishable from beef. Uh uh. I'm not buying that. A sloppy joe is ground beef simmered in a very delicious sauce and served on a bun, preferably toasted. It's not textured protein or tofu. I've had those items for many a meal, and I have nothing against them. They can be quite tasty, depending on how they are prepared. But I can't see how those meat substitutes can ever replace ground beef in a sloppy joe. I just can't get my head around it, and I can't see myself ever ordering or paying for something called a "vegan sloppy joe".

Least of all in the AT&T center. Hell, your meatless slop burger will probably run you $15 there, and that's without fries or a drink.

Shooting Bigfoot in San Antonio

Apparently it's legal to kill a cryptid in San Antonio, as long as you do it in a homeless camp. Or at least this guy thought so.

Right now, the online Bigfoot community is on fire with claims from a controversial man who is saying he shot and killed a Bigfoot in Northwest San Antonio last September.

Rick Dyer is the man who claims he killed Bigfoot.

...

The first time he came here was in 2009, shortly after a homeless woman called 911 to report a Bigfoot sighting. [That event was mentioned previously on this blog.  --Ed.]

The couple was living in a tent in the woods near Loop 1604 and Highway 151. One night in November 2009, the couple claimed to see a "very large, hairy animal" enter their campsite and take off with a deer carcass.

...

It took nearly three years for Dyer to return to the Alamo city to continue his search in September 2012.

This time, he had a documentary film crew in tow, and they all camped out in tents where several homeless people claimed to have seen the creature.

(from KSAT-12)

Mr. Dyer says he used pork ribs from Walmart to lure the creature into the camp, where he shot the thing and took off with the corpse to Las Vegas. So he says. He can't show us the body because this was all part of a documentary project. He says he cannot release video, pictures, or the body itself at this point. All he can do is shout his story to the media until the documentary is released, and then he can release the evidence.

I think I will hold off on believing Dyer's story. Why? you may ask. I don't know, maybe because he is a self-admitted hoaxer who's even alienated the people who should be his biggest supporters.

 [Dyer] said he's "the most hated person in Bigfoot today."

That hatred stems from his involvement in a 2008 Bigfoot hoax.

Dyer and others claimed they had a body back then and even held a huge news conference but it all turned out to be a big lie.

"When I hoaxed in 2008, I did not believe in Bigfoot," Dyer said. "I thought Bigfoot was the same thing as a tooth fairy or a unicorn."

There you go. Even the Bigfoot community is loathe to believe his claims, and they want Bigfoot to be real. They really do. If you've lost them, you might as well hang out in homeless camps and feed the wildlife.

Mmmm ---- pork ribs.

"Butterfly travels to SA on plane"

I don't know, it just seems like they're enabling this underachiever.

A lone Monarch butterfly flew from Albany, N.Y., to San Antonio Monday not on it's [sic] own, but onboard a Southwest Airlines flight -- for free.

It was all to help the butterfly make its migration to Michoacan, Mexico, for the winter.

The butterfly emerged from its chrysalis too late to travel with other butterflies and it was already too cold in the northeast to make the trip.

...

"I said, 'What are you doing here? You're late! Your very late for a important date!'" said [the Butterfly Woman of Shokan, N.Y. Maraleen] Manos-Jones.

(from KSAT-12)

I hope that date isn't with one of San Antonio's many grackles. For Ms. Manos-Jones's sake, that is.

Snake!

Don't play with the rattlers!

Officials at a northeast-side school say students will be allowed to play at recess after a student was bitten by a rattlesnake at the playground after school on Wednesday.

Aubrey Chancellor, spokeswoman for the North East Independent School District, said the 8-year-old boy was bitten near the back of the playground at Longs Creek Elementary.

The boy was rushed to the hospital and is expected to make a full recovery.

(from KENS-5)

The school caught the snake and released it somewhere "far away from the school". That's too bad. They should have killed it and given the skin to the boy, so he can always remember. And so he can show his grandchildren the snake that wasn't snake enough to take him out, even as a kid.

Dying on the ranch

The mayor of Hollywood Park has died.

He was killed by a donkey.

An aggressive donkey is being blamed for the death of Hollywood Park Mayor William “Bill” Bohlke.

He was found on his Atascosa County ranch about 50 yards from his truck about 10 p.m. Monday, at least 10 hours after a stud donkey apparently attacked him, Atascosa County Chief Deputy David Soward said Wednesday.

“They can become very aggressive, very mean, sometimes triggered by a female in heat,” Soward said. “We'll probably never know what triggered it, but it was evident that this particular donkey was involved, based on the evidence at the scene and what we saw on this donkey.”

When asked if Bohlke was kicked or trampled, Soward replied, “We can just surmise, based on the evidence that we have, all of that.”

(from the Express-News)

Strange. Very strange.

Someone who should check a little closer

On the paperwork, that is.

San Antonio-based restaurant chain Sushi Zushi will reopen some locations as early as next week, CEO Alfonso Tomita said this morning.

All eight of Sushi Zushi's locations, which include four in the Alamo City, closed their doors on Friday after about 100 employees didn't show up to work because U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement was conducting an audit of the company, Tomita said. The chain employees about 500 people, he said, speaking to reporters at the location on Basse Road.

A sign hanging on the restaurant's door said Sushi Zushi is hiring for all positions. Tomita said it's particularly difficult to find sushi chefs. Executive chef Luis Ramirez is among those who didn't show up to work last week, Tomita said.

(from the Express-News)

One-fifth of your entire workforce fails to show up for work. Twenty percent. Because of a rumor. Because they are afraid of being deported.

Perhaps it's time to review your hiring practices, Mr. Tomita. You know, to make sure your employees don't all have the same SSN.

Bonus strangeness: Apparently it's "particularly difficult" to find Americans willing to be sushi chefs, so difficult you have to hire illegal immigrants instead.

Remember that next time you fork over $15 for a Yummy Yummy Roll.

"Woman's nose eaten by fleas; Animals will now be removed"

I'm a little late in the game with this one, but here's the latest:

Neighbors say Bexar County is finally taking responsibility two weeks after an elderly woman was removed from her home after her skin was eaten away by fleas.

A Northwest Bexar County neighborhood begged county agencies for more than a year to help the woman.

There’s now a plan to care for the several animals she kept on the property.

...

A[nimal] C[are] S[ervices] says it removed two dogs at the request of the Bexar County Sheriff’s Office on May 21. Since then, the hold-up has been a warrant to gain legal access to the property.

ACS officer Jeanne Martinez says the agency now has the warrant and a plan.

"We're working in cooperation with the neighbor and we're going to be taking the traps out to him,” she says. “He will be watching over the traps to make sure the animals are safe once they're caught."

(from WOAI-TV)

I don't know what anyone else's experience with ACS is, but mine is that they are barely engaged with the citizens they are supposed to be serving. Wild animal in your yard? Call someone else. Stray cat or dog causing problems? Trap it yourself, get it spayed or neutered, then release it back into your own neighborhood. Need to give up a pet, for any reason? Fork over some money, first, and then make an appointment for the convenient day of Wednesday. Any other problems? Don't bother us.

But, I do have to hand it to ACS for the following tip on how to safely bring in your cat for surrender:

Felines must be in a carrier or pillow case

Heh heh heh. Shouldn't they always?

No, Cujo! No!

(from the KENS-5 slideshow covering the El Rey Fido coronation)

When taking photographs, even casually, you should pay close attention to forced perspective. Whether you want it to be there or not.

"Man shot in head while hunting vermin on San Antonio River"

Duck!

A man was rushed to the hospital early Monday morning after Bexar County deputies say he was shot in the head while hunting vermin along the San Antonio River near Braunig Lake.

Deputies said they received a call from a man around 4:40 a.m. saying his hunting partner has [sic] been shot while hunting on private property.

...

The men were first believed to be hunting for feral hogs, but deputies said the [sic] Davis's hunting partner then clarified that they were actually hunting vermin.

(from KENS-5)

I have to admit, I've never done any hunting at night (at least not with guns). Are the possums easier to hit in the dark?

I am genuinely curious.

Dinosaur afternoon

Now here's something you don't see everyday.



(Tyrannosaurus rex metallicus spotted somewhere along Bandera Road.)

Turning off the lights

Maybe the tree rats hate the new, ugly, Seuss-like River Walk lights, too.

Pesky rodents are chewing through the city's Riverwalk lights display, leaving some visitors disappointed with the views.

According to Paula Stallcup, the city's director of downtown operations, a city contractor is replacing faulty or damaged lights twice a week, in an effort to maintain the popular display.

The city recently finished a $580,000 [*choke* --ed.] switch to LED lights on the Riverwalk, and has already had problems with light banks shorting out because of moisture.

"The people that come down here, the tourists, they come for the lights, and since they switched to the LEDs, a lot of them have been disappointed," said Carlos Delgado, a manager at Rio Rio Cantina on the Riverwalk.

Stallcup said the squirrels weren't a problem before the switch to LED lights because the traditional lights dangled from the ends of branches. The LED lights are wrapped around tree trunks, which makes them more accessible to wildlife, Stallcup said.

(from KSAT-12)

Or maybe the tree rats like the new lights better. Perhaps they are more tasty than the pretty ones that came before.

Calling B.S. on a fundraiser

I hate to be a wet blanket, especially when the charity seems so worthy, but I doubt that these beasts are truly artistes.

A rescue organization inundated with animals suffering because of the drought is getting creative for its upcoming fundraiser. The animals Wildlife Rescue and Rehabilitation has nursed back to health are creating works of art to raise money for the organization.

The first ever "Artistic Animals" fundraiser earlier this month was so popular, organization employees decided to have an encore show. The first show sold out in 20 minutes.

Domestic and wild animals have been playing with non-toxic paint to create 41 pieces of art. The animals are attracted to the smell and texture of the paint, explained supervisor Kimberly Stephens. She said it's an "enrichment" activity that the animals enjoy while they are in captivity.

(from WOAI-TV)

I notice "enrichment" is in sarcasm quotes. Or are they scare quotes?

You decide.

Not paying very much attention

Didn't something like this happen not too long ago?

Traffic in the downtown area came to a halt Monday morning after an 18-wheeler got stuck under a bridge at Roosevelt and South St. Mary's Street.

The rig's driver told police she was looking for her CPS unit [sic] and failed to see the warning signs, causing her to crash the top of the truck aginst [sic] the railway bridge around 4:30 a.m.

(from KSAT-12)

Why, yes. Something like this did happen not too long ago.



Lesson #1 for driving a truck on the South Side: Be careful on Roosevelt Street, and pay attention to the signs.

And trade in your CPS unit for a much more functional GPS unit.

Tigers?

Did you hear that some tigers got loose today? Somewhere near San Antonio?

Turns out it was nothing more than someone who was a bit confused. Apparently.

Bexar County Sheriff's deputies were sent to a home in the 27000 block of Okent Drive, near Blanco Road and Old Blanco Road around 9:00 a.m. Tuesday after receiving reports about large cats being loose on the property. Timberwood Park Elementary School was placed on lockdown after officials there were contacted by the Bexar County Sheriff's Office between 9:00 and 9:30 a.m. and told officers believed three white tigers could be loose in the area.

A Bexar County Sheriff's Office spokesperson told News 4 WOAI when their officers arrived, they found three tigers inside their cages. However, the owner kept insisting he could see at least one running loose. The San Antonio Zoo was called and a three-person team was dispatched to assist with the capture of the cats. The officers continued searching the property but found no other exotic animals. They were then told two panthers were contained inside the man's bedroom, so they went inside to check. When they opened the bedroom door, they found two stuffed panthers.

The Bexar County Sheriff's Office says the owner apparently became confused and may have been hallucinating. They asked him to get a medical exam, but said he refused.

(from WOAI-TV)

Sounds like that guy needs some kind of examination, and I hope he gets the help he needs. But perhaps now would be the time to find new homes for the tigers. Or at least the stuffed panthers.

Dealing with animals

If you had an accident on the highway involving a big wild animal, you would think that your friends might help you out. Or you might think that they would not make the situation worse, at the very least.

But, if you were this guy, you would have another think coming.

SAN ANTONIO -- Police say a motorcyclist crashed into a deer and then had his bike stolen by his friends.

Investigators said the motorcyclist was riding with a group of people on motorcycles and a pickup truck when the man hit the deer and lost control of the motorcycle and fell onto the access road at Loop 410 and Ingram Road at around 2:30 a.m. Monday.

But instead of helping him, police said two women and a man picked up his motorcycle, put it in the back of the truck and left.

(from KSAT-12)

I think there's more to this story than is being reported by KSAT. A lot more.

"Vets Fix Tiny Tooth During Monkey Root Canal"

Monkey, mango, coke, and a broken tooth. Not so much a human interest story as a primate interest story.

SAN ANTONIO -- Mango the monkey has been suffering from a broken, infected tooth, just like humans sometimes get.

"People do it all the time (by) biting down on hard candy (such as) jaw breakers," Dr. Rob Coke, staff vet at the San Antonio Zoo, said.

But fixing Mango's mouth isn't as simple as fixing a human's, due to his tiny stature.

"It's a 2-pound monkey, so we obviously had magnification loops [sic] as well as ... tiny instruments to go in there to try to repair that," Coke said.

(from KSAT-12)

I'm picturing that ellipsis in Coke's second quote as hiding a well-placed curse word. It is monkey dentistry, after all.

First, it was chupacabras ...

... now it's UFOs!

It was over a week ago Mario Vallejo of southeast San Antonio claims he spotted an Unidentified Flying Object, or a UFO. Regardless of whether you believe him or not he’s quickly gaining a lot of attention on-line.

“I was pointing that way and I saw that object traveling that way, going east,” said Vallejo. “First of all no navigational lights that’s what got my attention at first. Then I started zooming in and I started seeing the different configuration of the lights.”

Vallejo will even be the first to admit he sees aircraft fly by his home often, but claims this was different.

“All the time I see aircraft going in and out, in and out, helicopters, jets, I see commercial aircraft going around and none of these seem to be that,” Vallejo.

(from KENS-5)

Yep, the Alamo City has its share of aliens, too. You know, to keep the goat suckers company. (Or maybe that's really WHERE ALL THE CHUPACABRAS ARE COMING FROM!)

But the really big disappointment is a journalistic failing here ---- there's no link to the video in the KENS news story!

So, to keep you informed, I present the video to you here:



UPDATED: Now there's a link to the video on KENS.

Not raising children

At least, not they way they're supposed to be raised.

SAN ANTONIO - There are myths and legends about feral children -- supposedly raised by animals. Here in San Antonio, an attorney believes five children have been raised this way.

Carla Morrison says the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services has removed five children from their home because of severe neglect. According to Morrison, the children might have what is known as Feral Child Syndrome -- a condition where the child has been isolated from human contact starting at an early age-with little or no human care.

The siblings range from ages three to 11 years old and they do not speak. The oldest child is the only one who has been potty trained.

(from WOAI-TV)

The descriptions in the story get worse after that, though there are, understandably, few other details. I don't know much about the realities of feral children, but one thing I do remember is that many of them never learn to speak a human language, even after rejoining society. Some linguists posit that there is a brief window very early in a person's development where learning languages is easy, and if a child misses that window, they can never fully grasp the concept of language. They are forever cut off from adequate communications with their fellow humans.

If that's true, it may be too late for these children.