"Eyewear pitchman Yuchnitz dead"

Remember a few years ago when local salesman-of-cheap-eyeglasses and all 'round character Mike Yuchnitz was charged with conspiring to kill his wife? Well, he's gonna miss his trial.

He has died.

Michael Yuchnitz, 60, was found in the parking lot of the InTown Suites in the 6400 block of Bandera Road after he apparently collapsed in a slightly hidden area between a car and some landscaping, said Leon Valley Police Chief Randall Wallace.

"It was in a position where you had to walk very closely to see (him)," Wallace added.

A maintenance man discovered Yuchnitz's body as he did his usual rounds at the extended stay hotel, Wallace said. Yuchnitz was unresponsive.

There was no trauma and police said the death appeared to be a natural.

(from MySA.com)

Whether or not you will miss him, the fact remains that no one in this town has ever pulled off a red Nehru jacket and matching fedora quite like Yuchnitz di--- ... OK, never mind. He didn't pull it off either.

Ransoming a dog

Here's a ponderable: Is it really a ransom situation if you know the people and owe them money anyway? It might be. I don't know. But I am genuinely curious.

San Antonio Police said two men intended to keep a disabled veteran's chihuahua for ransom.

Charles Stone from the Southside said the men took his 6-year-old chihuahua, "Guero," and held the dog ransom.

...

The men said Stone owed them upwards of $1,500. Because Stone wasn't timely in paying up, the men also allegedly tried to charge him interest.

...

The two men, whose names have not yet been released, are facing a charge of theft of a disabled person, which is a felony.

(from KSAT-12)

The dog was gone for about two weeks, and the police set up a sting operation to nab the two guys.

Which brings up my next question: A sting operation? Was that necessary? If someone steals someone else's dog, and then that person calls the police to say, Hey, those guys stole my dog, why wouldn't the police just go over to the dudes' house and say, Is that your dog? And then arrest them if they admit it's not theirs. I'm thinking that might be quicker than setting up a sting, and Guero would have been home sooner.

But then, that might not have made the news. Maybe.

Someone who should have thought a little more

About his getaway, that is.

[Bexar County s]pokesman Paul Berry said both [Charles] Adamson and the victim had been waiting at the same bus stop, on Loop 107 near Billy Sames Drive just prior to the shooting.

“After they boarded the bus, the suspect and the victim got into an argument with the suspect shooting the victim once in the face,” Berry said.

The victim was flown to San Antonio Military Medical Center by helicopter.

The suspect -- Adamson -- then removed his bicycle from the front of the bus and attempted to get back on it with the bicycle, Berry said.

"After the driver refused to allow him on, Adamson then pedaled away,” he said.

(from KSAT-12)

They caught the suspect later, and, last I heard, the victim is probably going to be OK. But if it were me (not saying I'd be shooting anybody on the bus in the first place, to be sure), I think I might choose the bike as my primary means of escape, not the bus. Public transit can be good for a commute or two, but it's not very handy for completing criminal acts.

Van crashes into garage

I said I'd be back today. What better way to ease myself back into blogging than by taking note of the latest skirmish in the ongoing war between the vehicles and the abodes.

That crash happened just before 11 p.m. near E. Southcross and Bill Miller Lane.

According to police, the man lost control of his van.

They say he then jumped the curb and took out a fence before crashing through the detached garage.

(from KSAT-12)

Curb, fence, garage. That's a trifecta.

On my way back

I've been gone too long, and I think I'm on my way back. Hope to see you soon, in the next few days or so.

Knowing your candidate

It's municipal election time in San Antonio. And, if you have not yet cast your early vote, you might want to get to know the candidates a little more. KSAT's here to help.

Several men running for several different municipal seats in San Antonio have criminal records, KSAT 12 News has learned.

(from KSAT-12)

You can get the details at the link; I won't reprint them here. But I will provide this quote from the news article from Antonio Diaz, who is running for the City Council seat in District 2, because I think this is the most important part of the story.

“I used to drink a lot in my life, and that led me to do many of those things,” said Diaz, who said he does not hide from his past. “But I’ve been sober for over 20 years and now I want to be a helpful, contributing member of society.”

Yes, it is a bit odd that so many people vying to run our city have criminal backgrounds, but, in all fairness, a lot of the charges listed in the article were dismissed or dropped. And the candidates who did have convictions served their time and/or fine, and they seemed to have learned from their mistakes. Let's hope they did. Let's also hope their victims were made whole or made to feel that justice was done.

And, if the candidates get elected, let's hope they serve as shining examples of what people can do to redeem themselves.

Raining on your parade

Parades ain't what they used to be.

Reports of several floats being kicked out of Friday's Battle of Flowers parade have been confirmed by KSAT 12.

SAPD booted the floats at the request of parade organizers-- including that of El Rey Feo's -- for throwing beads, medals and other souvenir items from the float to the people lining the Broadway parade route.

SAPD said parade organizers gave repeated warnings for those on the floats against throwing items off the floats.

(from KSAT-12)

When I was a kid, I remember almost every float in a parade threw candy to the kids. Of course, that was in a small town, and maybe they do/did things differently in a smaller scale parade than in a big city parade. In any case, it makes for an interesting notion to consider the possiblity of El Rey Feo being led away in handcuffs by the police.

A bit of Whataburger ... in your grocery store

This makes me kinda happy.

H-E-B is betting Texas consumers will opt for a home state favorite.

The grocery chain announced Tuesday that it would begin selling ketchup and mustard branded by Whataburger, which like H-E-B is headquartered in San Antonio. Starting this summer, the fancy and spicy ketchup varieties will be on H-E-B shelves in 20-ounce bottles and the original mustard in 16-ounce bottles.

(from the Houston Chronicle, via MySA.com)

Not that I think the mustard and ketchup will taste any different than other varieties (except for the spicy ketchup, maybe), but I just like Whataburger. And seeing the familiar orange and white stripes brings to mind so many yummy memories.

Now, if HEB would just start selling Whataburger onion rings ......

Describing your attacker's getaway car

Well, this is an odd detail to remember.

A female student from San Antonio College had her phone stolen while waiting at a bus stop, SAC police officials said.

Around 3 p.m. on Monday, the student was waiting on San Pedro at Courtland and was approached by a stranger who asked to borrow her phone.

When the student asked for her phone back, she was allegedly pushed by the suspect. The suspect then fled in what was described as a dark royal blue two-door sedan with a rounded dashboard and a crack in the stereo.

(from KSAT-12)

I can't remember the last time I drove a car where I could describe the dashboard as "rounded", though I did have a cracked stereo once.

Oh, wait. I meant a Kraco.

Hiatus, again

I'm going on another, short blogging hiatus. February was crazy busy, and I thought I would have a reprieve in March but it's actually shaping up to be even busier, what with my own kids' stuff and my own family members to keep track of and even some friends who need a helping hand from time to time. In short, it's a very busy time in the household.


I fully intend to be back, hopefully with a quieter April. In the meantime, enjoy this dinosaur on the loose in the Alamo City.

Doing laundry

Did you ever have the pleasure (or duty) of hanging wet clothing on a clothesline? If so, then you are well familiar with the tedious task of backyard laundry. And you know that nothing could make that chore lively at all.

Unless you did it at night, that is. And you got stabbed while doing it.

A woman is stabbed in her backyard while doing laundry late Friday night.

Police say the woman was stabbed at her home on Albert Street near Culebra Road around 9:00pm.

We're told someone walked up to her and stabbed her in the stomach.  Officers don't know who the person was or why he did it.

(from WOAI-TV)

I'm guessing alcohol was invovled. Or hallucinogens.

"City cleans up homeless campsites"

I read this with intense interest.

Cleaning up homeless campsites removed two truck loads of debris from areas around town Thursday morning.

San Antonio Police, Public Works and Haven for Hope partner up to periodically clean up places where the homeless live.  While Public Works crews work to remove any left-behind belongings, Ron Brown works to get people off the streets to Haven for Hope.

(from WOAI-TV)

And I couldn't help wondering, would Haven for Hope accept Bigfoot?

Cokes!

I think the Pistolero might be a bit disappointed to hear this.

An 18-wheeler transporting 40,000 pounds of Mexican soda crashed on Interstate 35 near downtown early Friday morning, causing a massive liquid spill that forced the freeway to be closed.

(from KSAT-12)

The news story doesn't say whether the sodas were specifically Mexican Coca-Colas, but if you see a brief shortage in San Antonio soon, now you know why.

Puzzling food

I don't normally draw attention to the weird antics of PETA. I don't agree with their message, and I know that they stage the kookiest stunts they can think of just to get some kind of attention -- any kind, really -- and I don't want to be seen as giving them the attention they crave.

But this short bit from KENS-5 on a PETA report listing the top 10 vegan sports arenas caught my eye, and it's not because the AT&T Center placed eighth on the PETA list. It's because of this:

It's fitting that familiar favorites, including bean burritos and tacos, vegan apple turnovers, and, in premium areas, vegan sloppy Joes, would be found at the home of the [Spurs].

Wut!?? The hell.

Is a vegan sloppy joe?

Don't tell me it's a textured protein or tofu and that it's indistinguishable from beef. Uh uh. I'm not buying that. A sloppy joe is ground beef simmered in a very delicious sauce and served on a bun, preferably toasted. It's not textured protein or tofu. I've had those items for many a meal, and I have nothing against them. They can be quite tasty, depending on how they are prepared. But I can't see how those meat substitutes can ever replace ground beef in a sloppy joe. I just can't get my head around it, and I can't see myself ever ordering or paying for something called a "vegan sloppy joe".

Least of all in the AT&T center. Hell, your meatless slop burger will probably run you $15 there, and that's without fries or a drink.

"Truck carrying port-o-potty crashes"

Does your commute take you through the southwest part of San Antonio? If so, did you smell something different along the way this morning?

One person was injured when the driver of a truck carrying a port-o-potty lost control and crashed on the Southwest Side Monday morning.

The accident happened around 8:50 a.m. Monday at Berman Road and Westover Road, between Port San Antonio and Joint Base San Antonio - Lackland. The truck ended up flipping over and spilling the contents of the port-o-potty.

(from WOAI-TV)

Don't worry. Hazmat teams made the scene. It's all better now.

Shooting Bigfoot in San Antonio

Apparently it's legal to kill a cryptid in San Antonio, as long as you do it in a homeless camp. Or at least this guy thought so.

Right now, the online Bigfoot community is on fire with claims from a controversial man who is saying he shot and killed a Bigfoot in Northwest San Antonio last September.

Rick Dyer is the man who claims he killed Bigfoot.

...

The first time he came here was in 2009, shortly after a homeless woman called 911 to report a Bigfoot sighting. [That event was mentioned previously on this blog.  --Ed.]

The couple was living in a tent in the woods near Loop 1604 and Highway 151. One night in November 2009, the couple claimed to see a "very large, hairy animal" enter their campsite and take off with a deer carcass.

...

It took nearly three years for Dyer to return to the Alamo city to continue his search in September 2012.

This time, he had a documentary film crew in tow, and they all camped out in tents where several homeless people claimed to have seen the creature.

(from KSAT-12)

Mr. Dyer says he used pork ribs from Walmart to lure the creature into the camp, where he shot the thing and took off with the corpse to Las Vegas. So he says. He can't show us the body because this was all part of a documentary project. He says he cannot release video, pictures, or the body itself at this point. All he can do is shout his story to the media until the documentary is released, and then he can release the evidence.

I think I will hold off on believing Dyer's story. Why? you may ask. I don't know, maybe because he is a self-admitted hoaxer who's even alienated the people who should be his biggest supporters.

 [Dyer] said he's "the most hated person in Bigfoot today."

That hatred stems from his involvement in a 2008 Bigfoot hoax.

Dyer and others claimed they had a body back then and even held a huge news conference but it all turned out to be a big lie.

"When I hoaxed in 2008, I did not believe in Bigfoot," Dyer said. "I thought Bigfoot was the same thing as a tooth fairy or a unicorn."

There you go. Even the Bigfoot community is loathe to believe his claims, and they want Bigfoot to be real. They really do. If you've lost them, you might as well hang out in homeless camps and feed the wildlife.

Mmmm ---- pork ribs.

"Man lashes out at news crews covering garage fire"

A man's home catches fire, and he finds the presence of news crews offensive. Can't say as I really blame him. It seems pretty invasive to have a camera poking in your business just when you are at a very vulnerable point. But at the same time, I know that's what news crews do, and you can't really begrudge them a living, as long as they are on public property and not actually in your stuff. But, again, the man's resentment is understandable.

So he expresses himself. And how does KSAT-12 characterize his reaction?

This appeared to agitate the man who lives in the home. He lashed out at news crews that were there to cover the fire by making obscene gestures with his hands.

He "lashed out". By doing this:

That's lashing out? He looks remarkably collected to me. Really, KSAT, you could have done better. If you're going to portray someone as out of control in their reaction to your presence, you might not want to show video of him coolly flipping you the bird with no indication of violence on his mind whatsoever.

Or just leave him alone, you know.

You do know, right?

Car crashes into church

Oh man, the automobile vengeance upon homes -- or former homes, at least -- has taken a very sinister turn.

A car crashed through a church on San Antonio's West Side early Thursday morning, leaving behind some major damage.

San Antonio police responded to the accident at the Woodlawn Hills Baptist Church on W. Woodlawn at Maiden Lane and said the accident left a hole in the side of the building where Sunday school classes are held.

Woodlawn dead-ends in front of the church. However, investigators said the driver did not stop and, instead, drove through four walls and finally came to a stop behind the church.

...

A witness told police the car hit the curb then flew through the air as it went through the church building. It left behind 50 to 60 yards of skid marks.

(from KSAT-12)

Skid marks fifty to sixty yards long, and still enough energy to go completely through a building? Holy cow, that's fast!

"Suit claims Spurs violated state law"

Bitter much?

The San Antonio Spurs are being sued by a lawyer [Of course.  ----ed.] who is alleging the team violated the state's deceptive and fair trade practices law.

On Monday, Larry McGuinness filed a class-action suit in Miami-Dade County, stating Spurs coach Gregg Popovich "intentionally and surreptitiously" sent their best players home without the knowledge of the league, the team and the fans attending the Nov. 29 game against the Miami Heat. McGuinness contends that he, as well as other fans, "suffered economic damages" as a result of paying a premium price for a ticket that shouldn't cost more.

...

"It was like going to Morton's Steakhouse and paying $63 for porterhouse and they bring out cube steak," said McGuinness, who said he bought his ticket on the resale market. "That's exactly what happened here."

(from ESPN.com, by way of WOAI-TV)

As much as I like the thought of our beloved Spurs players being compared to high-quality steak, I'm more entertained by the thought of the Heat team being nothing more than hamburger to a Florida fan.

Eat that, LeBron!

Truck smashes into house

Well, I haven't reported on this kind of thing in a long time. And what a way to bring the meme back.

An elderly woman and her daughter were rudely awakened Tuesday morning when a large truck crashed into the side of their house.

Accident investigators said it happened around 4 a.m. in the 900 block of Mount Serolod Drive, off of Blanco Road, near Ramsey.

Witness Aurora Williams said she was following her friend, who was driving a cargo truck down Blanco Road, when he suddenly veered off the road and wrecked into the home.

...

At the time, the woman's daughter thought the crash was the sound of thunder and that a tree limb had fallen on the house.

(from KSAT-12)

There's that thunder sound again. I wonder if all vehicle crashes into houses sound the same, just like how people say tornadoes sound like freight trains.

Oh no, you WILL NOT tase me, bro!

Wow, they sure have some tough ones at the sheriff's office.

A Bexar County sheriff’s deputy was arrested around 9:30 Thursday night on Braun Road near Loop 1604 on the Northwest Side. Police investigators say a traffic officer parked in a patrol car saw Deputy Susanna Cervantes drive into a parking lot and hit two concrete poles that were barriers to a propane tank.

“She observed the vehicle back up from the poles and then strike the poles again,” said Sgt. Javier Salazar from the San Antonio Police Department.

...

Police say after being tased, Deputy Cervantes ripped the taser probes out of her body and continued her tirade. So investigators say they had no choice but to taser Cervantes a second time. Cervantes was eventually taken to the ground and handcuffed.

(from WOAI-TV)

Too bad she couldn't keep that energy focused on the bad guys.