Puzzling food

I don't normally draw attention to the weird antics of PETA. I don't agree with their message, and I know that they stage the kookiest stunts they can think of just to get some kind of attention -- any kind, really -- and I don't want to be seen as giving them the attention they crave.

But this short bit from KENS-5 on a PETA report listing the top 10 vegan sports arenas caught my eye, and it's not because the AT&T Center placed eighth on the PETA list. It's because of this:

It's fitting that familiar favorites, including bean burritos and tacos, vegan apple turnovers, and, in premium areas, vegan sloppy Joes, would be found at the home of the [Spurs].

Wut!?? The hell.

Is a vegan sloppy joe?

Don't tell me it's a textured protein or tofu and that it's indistinguishable from beef. Uh uh. I'm not buying that. A sloppy joe is ground beef simmered in a very delicious sauce and served on a bun, preferably toasted. It's not textured protein or tofu. I've had those items for many a meal, and I have nothing against them. They can be quite tasty, depending on how they are prepared. But I can't see how those meat substitutes can ever replace ground beef in a sloppy joe. I just can't get my head around it, and I can't see myself ever ordering or paying for something called a "vegan sloppy joe".

Least of all in the AT&T center. Hell, your meatless slop burger will probably run you $15 there, and that's without fries or a drink.

"Truck carrying port-o-potty crashes"

Does your commute take you through the southwest part of San Antonio? If so, did you smell something different along the way this morning?

One person was injured when the driver of a truck carrying a port-o-potty lost control and crashed on the Southwest Side Monday morning.

The accident happened around 8:50 a.m. Monday at Berman Road and Westover Road, between Port San Antonio and Joint Base San Antonio - Lackland. The truck ended up flipping over and spilling the contents of the port-o-potty.

(from WOAI-TV)

Don't worry. Hazmat teams made the scene. It's all better now.

Shooting Bigfoot in San Antonio

Apparently it's legal to kill a cryptid in San Antonio, as long as you do it in a homeless camp. Or at least this guy thought so.

Right now, the online Bigfoot community is on fire with claims from a controversial man who is saying he shot and killed a Bigfoot in Northwest San Antonio last September.

Rick Dyer is the man who claims he killed Bigfoot.

...

The first time he came here was in 2009, shortly after a homeless woman called 911 to report a Bigfoot sighting. [That event was mentioned previously on this blog.  --Ed.]

The couple was living in a tent in the woods near Loop 1604 and Highway 151. One night in November 2009, the couple claimed to see a "very large, hairy animal" enter their campsite and take off with a deer carcass.

...

It took nearly three years for Dyer to return to the Alamo city to continue his search in September 2012.

This time, he had a documentary film crew in tow, and they all camped out in tents where several homeless people claimed to have seen the creature.

(from KSAT-12)

Mr. Dyer says he used pork ribs from Walmart to lure the creature into the camp, where he shot the thing and took off with the corpse to Las Vegas. So he says. He can't show us the body because this was all part of a documentary project. He says he cannot release video, pictures, or the body itself at this point. All he can do is shout his story to the media until the documentary is released, and then he can release the evidence.

I think I will hold off on believing Dyer's story. Why? you may ask. I don't know, maybe because he is a self-admitted hoaxer who's even alienated the people who should be his biggest supporters.

 [Dyer] said he's "the most hated person in Bigfoot today."

That hatred stems from his involvement in a 2008 Bigfoot hoax.

Dyer and others claimed they had a body back then and even held a huge news conference but it all turned out to be a big lie.

"When I hoaxed in 2008, I did not believe in Bigfoot," Dyer said. "I thought Bigfoot was the same thing as a tooth fairy or a unicorn."

There you go. Even the Bigfoot community is loathe to believe his claims, and they want Bigfoot to be real. They really do. If you've lost them, you might as well hang out in homeless camps and feed the wildlife.

Mmmm ---- pork ribs.

"Man lashes out at news crews covering garage fire"

A man's home catches fire, and he finds the presence of news crews offensive. Can't say as I really blame him. It seems pretty invasive to have a camera poking in your business just when you are at a very vulnerable point. But at the same time, I know that's what news crews do, and you can't really begrudge them a living, as long as they are on public property and not actually in your stuff. But, again, the man's resentment is understandable.

So he expresses himself. And how does KSAT-12 characterize his reaction?

This appeared to agitate the man who lives in the home. He lashed out at news crews that were there to cover the fire by making obscene gestures with his hands.

He "lashed out". By doing this:

That's lashing out? He looks remarkably collected to me. Really, KSAT, you could have done better. If you're going to portray someone as out of control in their reaction to your presence, you might not want to show video of him coolly flipping you the bird with no indication of violence on his mind whatsoever.

Or just leave him alone, you know.

You do know, right?